you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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