He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
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Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
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I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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