Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Panties = found
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
