I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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