So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
