sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize