Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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