Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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