Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
