My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
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As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
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What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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