problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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