Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
