That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
