I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize