Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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