Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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