Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
