My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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