nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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