i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
