First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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