you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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