I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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