Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
