I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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