On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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