i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize