There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
