is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
