just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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