if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
