Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
