you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
