RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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