She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.