youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers