He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back