i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Your cock deserves a montage
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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