singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck