...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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