$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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