my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
