I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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