wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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