I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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