Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Randomize
