you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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