She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
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Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
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So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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