You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
