Dual....:-)
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
