kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
