Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
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Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
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fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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