Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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