Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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