Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
