I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize