I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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