Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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