Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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