I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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